What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
