the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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