Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
