I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
