I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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