I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
