Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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