My hand turned me down
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
