dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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