i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
