when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
