omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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