But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
