Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
