okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
