I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
