Sry I called you an 8
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
