Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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