When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
