dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
