your room smells of hookers.
And success
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
