how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
