What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
