Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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