What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
