i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
