I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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