So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
