yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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