woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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