last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
high people should be assigned attendants
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
