dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
