you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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