You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
