Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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