have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
porn star boner night. come get it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
