the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
