Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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