apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
