doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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