So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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