I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
