He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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