Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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