She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
