I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
