Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
