I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
