gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
