I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
