real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
