No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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