i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
