We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
