i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
