I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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