question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
