he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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