You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
