bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
