Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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