I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
